With the spark that 50 Shades of Grey by  E L James has lit, having become the lead topic for many conversations these days, for women especially, all I hear ladies talking about is how difficult it is to find a good man. And when you do have one, a good one that is, it becomes all about holding on to him. Many women are asking the question – how do you keep him happy?

So what does a woman have to do to ensure her man doesn’t leave or go elsewhere to fulfill his manly needs? I haven’t read 50 Shades yet, but according to all the reviews I’ve read it seems to have boosted many couples’ sex lives.

Look, I say do whatever makes you happy, whether that’s experimenting with something new you read in a book or simply going on a romantic getaway to rekindle that spark. Relationships are like a garden, you have to tend it, water it and care for it or it’ll wither away.

It’s not always easy, especially when both of you are working and children become part of the equation – it makes things a little trickier to find that needed alone time. But you make it work. You fell in love for a reason, don’t you find you owe it to yourselves to give it a chance?

This morning, my husband and I went out for breakfast. It was a great start to another wonderful day, especially after the fabulous date night we had the evening prior. (The kids stayed at grandma’s, while we had a chance to escape.)

While having breakfast, there were four women seated at the table next to us and I couldn’t help overhearing their conversation – in my defence, they did speak rather loudly. They were talking about the book 50 Shades, and were gushing about how amazing it was, so amazing they had to remind their husbands to not interrupt while they got deeper into this highly addictive story.

“I just couldn’t put it down,” said one of the friends.

“Tell me about it – I couldn’t stop reading, I even had to tell (insert husband’s name here) to not bother me and leave me alone,” said another.

I can understand being sucked into a story you don’t want to be pulled out from, but if your husband is trying to get your attention in a certain way, which from the sound of the conversation he was, then why not put down the book and create your own romantic moment?

It’s ironic how we as women complain that our husbands are too busy watching the football game to pay any attention to us, but here we are doing the same thing. It’s easy to complain how hard it is to find a good man when we fail to see the good that’s right in front of us.

This led to the next topic of discussion – how difficult it is to keep a good man. One woman said almost every “good man” she knows who’s married cheats. If a good man cheats, then I guess he wasn’t all that good to begin with, now was he? Keep in mind that it’s not only men who cheat, more and more women cheat on their spouses too.

If it’s one thing I learned from my parents, who have been married for nearly 32 years, it’s that marriage isn’t a walk in the park. Every couple has their ups and downs, good times and bad, it’s how you get through it together that counts. These are things that should make you stronger, and unfortunately, it breaks many couples. People I find, are just not up for the fight.

My husband and I lead a hectic life, as many other couples who both work and have kids do, the difference is that we both make an effort to allot time in the midst of all the craziness to be together, hence the once-a-month date nights.

Remember what it was that pulled you to your significant other and keep the flame burning. Don’t let it fizzle out. They say a good man is hard to find. I believe a real soul mate is hard to find, so when you have found yours, don’t let him/her slip through your fingers. Do whatever it takes to make it work.

So what do you look for in a soul mate? What are your secrets to keeping them happy?

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